Doo bi chani ka labdi nyenga (a man does not take a major step forward, then retreat)

Just when I thought the housing situation was solved and behind me, there was still much more to face.

I told Razak of my plans yesterday afternoon and all seemed well. When we returned to his house, I was going to get my things together a take a cab to the guest house. Before I went inside, Razak remarked, “look at the new moon”. There it was: a very thin slice up there in the sky. I realized that I had not seen the moon in Ghana yet. I told Razak that the new moon was my favourite phase to see, even more than when it was full. For me, I always feel like it is the beginning of a new cycle. I often ask, ‘what is the sky saying about this moment that we are in?’





As I went into Razak’s house, it hit me that the timing was perfect as I was beginning a new phase of independence, heading out to the guest house. Razak, meanwhile, went around to his family members and informed them that I would be leaving. He began with his father, and then his mother. He then told the others. After closing up my bags and packing up the few things that I had left out, I was greeted at the door by Razak’s mother. She was there to offer me greetings, ‘that my heart would find peace where I go, and that I would be filled with wisdom’. She also advised that, ‘I stay on the straight path with God’. She spoke in Dagbani and Razak translated; she also said a lot with her hands which had the posture of prayer at moments and praise the next.

Razak’s brother had a different approach. He said, “the news is going to kill the old man”, referring to his father. He insisted that I stay and take the unoccupied room in the compound. He seemed to wonder if I felt it was not good enough for me, and could not understand my explanation that I needed some time alone to adjust and clear my mind. He said, “you can go in your room and be alone”, and asked, “why? you can’t be clear in your mind with us around?” I tried to show him that I was following the guidance in my heart, but it didn’t seem to stick with him.

When the cab arrived, men and children helped me to bring my things out, and the women that lived there stood around to say ‘bye’. There was about fifteen people...I felt really sad, and it wasn’t until the dirver barked, ‘close the door’ that I could go. I felt like I was doing the right thing, but I felt misunderstood and as if I had committed and offence that hurt them, and that they would forgive me for...but still hurt them.

When I discussed this with Razak, he said, “this is how people should feel when you leave. It would not be right if we were not sad to see you go”.

And then the next challenge came. We went to the Catholic Guest House and it was full. So was the TICS guest house, and the Baoabab, and a few others. Every time that we arrived somewhere, the news was the same. I began to get discouraged. I was praying and wondering, ‘did I make the wrong choice? Should I have stayed? Should I go back? Are they all full now (knowing that they had vacancies a few days before) because I wasn’t supposed to leave?’. Yet, that did not feel like the answer. Razak must have seen my discouragement, when I put my hands in the air like, ‘I don’t know!’ as we walked back to the cab driver who thought this was pretty funny.

Razak said, “Doo bi chani ka labdi nyenga”, and then asked me, “do you understand what I said?”

I replied, “no, what does that mean?”

He said, “A man does not take a major step forward, and then retreat. We will keep going.”

Then it came to me: the ladies from North Carolina! I scrolled though my phone and found the number for the residence that Abeena and Lilly were staying in. When I called, Abeena was given the phone and she said in her warm southern accent, “I was just praying about you. Is everything ok?”

Before I said very much, she told me to come stay by them. They had an extra room. We were actually in their neighborhood and I went there. I gave the driver 50,000 cds for what (if the first stop worked out) would have been a 10,000 cd cab ride and said ‘goodnight’ to Razak and his brother who had followed us on a motorbike.

After getting some food down the street and listening to the ladies and their many stories, I settled into a room and a bed by myself. I had a good sleep, with a lot of dreams, and I had time to think and feel in solitude. I prayed, read the word, and thought about a lot of things. That was very, very refreshing.

This morning, I felt great, and just as I stepped out of the door, ready to take a cab, there was Razak with his motorbike to drive me to work...