Grandma

Last Sunday, after church, I had an engagement to attend to. I was to head to circle to meet Anokye and go see ‘the old lady’, as her calls her.

I call her Nana’s Grandma. While I was in second year at York, I took a course called African Literature, taught by Professor Modupe Olaogun. In that class I became acquainted with Nana, who told me her name is also Irene. I chose to call her by Nana.

Over the course of the year, we got to know each other better. Aside from a shared interest in great writers, and our mutual English major status, we had a few other connections. She was on the York track team, and I used to love to run track. It was actually her encouragement that led me to go and meet the coach at the end of the season and attend a practice.

I can still remember that day quite clearly. I was put with two of the teams more committed athletes to join in with their practice. The thing was that they had been training all season and were preparing for the final competitions of the OU’s (Ontario finals) and the CI’s (Canadian finals). I had not run since grade 8 officially, and was not involved in much more than pick-up sports here and there at that point. Regardless, I joined the practice.

For the next two hours, we stretched, jogged, and then ran. The running was serious. There were times that I was not sure if I could continue, but I did. By the end, I had kept up with them. The coach told me to come out to the try-outs at the beginning of the next season, and recommended some training over the summer.

The next season, I joined the team. While the practices were plentiful (minimum of six hours a week, and up to 15 hours a week), I remember that time fondly. Having that outlet also helped me get through a very difficult year, boosted my confidence and opened the door to some great friendships.

During that time, I was still very involved in the music industry. Hosting a radio show that I co-founded, doing interviews with Hip Hop heavyweights for various publications, and attending almost every concert and event worth mentioning in the city fueled my absorption in the music.

One evening, sitting on the stairs that face my front door, I was on the phone with Nana in a rare conversation. We didn’t speak often. We were speaking about Hip Hop and music from a spiritual perspective. I remember her giving me a ‘what if’ situation.

She said, “what if God himself came to you and said, ‘I want you to speak to my people’, would you do it?”. She then asked me, “what if He told you that ‘I need you to have a clear mind and heart, filled with my word and my ways’, would you do it?”. Not knowing where she was taking this conversation, I visualized what she was speaking about and I really thought about it. If God spoke to me and wanted me to do something, how could I say ‘no’. I told her, that I would. She then told me, “He has already asked you to do that”.

While that conversation got me thinking about the music I listen to on a different level, I continued to be quite involved in the music for some time after that. Still, the thought stayed with me: I could feel the truth of what she had said, that God had called me for more. I have always been someone that listened to lyrics closely, but I gradually was seeing what was being said in a different light.

There is one more memory of Nana that is relevant at this point, which is of a photo that I saw of her while I was speaking with her on MSN. She had put a photo taken of her sitting at a table, eating, while she had been visiting Ghana. That is where her family is from, and she had gotten the chance to go. I asked her about the photo and she sent me a few more to see through email. The images were beautiful. I thought how amazing it would be to see Ghana.

When I was coming to Ghana, Nana had told me that she had planned to also be in the country at the same time. As things turned out, she had some other goals to take care of, and was unable to make it here. Even still, she put me in touch with some family and friends that she has here.

Anokye is one of those contacts. And ‘the old lady’ is her grandmother. In my first weeks in Accra, I made the trip to the area inside of Dansoman referred to as New Russia, where her Grandma lives. Sitting in that living room, I recognized the table and the wall that was in the far corner to the left of where I was sitting; it was the exact spot that Nana had been sitting in that photograph.

My first visit was in August. After that, I was in Tamale for a few months. When I came back down, I had planned to visit again. While it took a few weeks and a couple of botched dates to arrange, it finally happened last Sunday.

I met Anokye at Circle, I bought a loaf of bread, and we headed to see ‘the old lady’.

When I arrived, she was in her room getting ready. Being quite aged, she took a little while to come out. When she emerged with her walker from her bedroom into the living room where I was sitting, she was dressed in matching blue and silver clothing from head to toe, including a silk headscarf. As she welcomed me, she continued to push through the door using her walker to make small steps, and, with Anokye’s assistance, took her seat to talk.

Our initial small talk about how we were feeling and how the day was took place in English. Once the questions and answers got more detailed, we began to rely on Anokye to translate between the both of us.

As she spoke, I noticed a tone of blue in her brown eyes that matched her outfit. Visibly delighted to have a visitor, the round peak of her high cheek bones looked like two full moons in the same sky.

She told me that she is sad sometimes, as she is old and often feels very tired.

As I sat with her, I also thought of my own Grandmother: not because of her age or her condition, but because of my fondness for my Grandmother, and the warmth that this woman was emitting into my core.

Earlier that afternoon, while waiting to meet Anokye, I had gone to an internet café to check my email. That morning, I had only one personal email which was from my Mother. She was informing me of a few family matters including news that there was a change in plans regarding an upcoming surgery that my Grandmother was to udergo, and that this change was due to new revelations about her condition.

My Grandmother means so much to me, so the news was concerning. I was not worried, as I know that she is in God’s wonderfully blessed and graceful hand, yet I felt the weight of the situation.

In my heart, there were deep and slowly stirring emotions; I could feel the importance of taking some time to sit with her, I could feel my own Grandmother also.

I asked Nana’s Grandmother, what advice she has for life.

She said, “you have to try and work harder”.

“You have to work hard”.

“And God first. Go to church and love God and pray”.

She told me, “do good and pray. Don’t worry about things. God is merciful to his children. Trust Him and He will bless the work of your hands. Try harder and pray, and he will bless you”.

She also shared with me some things about herself. “I was the happiest at 50. I had a good family, and faith, and I was enjoying life. Now, I am tired. Life goes by fast. Keep God first”.

I sat with her for a bit longer before Anokye suggested that we get going.

I agreed, and after looking for her approval of our decision, I stepped across the room the greet her and tell her that I would come to visit her again. As I looked in her eyes and smiled, she took my hand that she was holding in hers and kissed it.

I thanked her for having me, and headed out of the door with Anokye. As we walked through the potholes of the tan dirt road, to the main junction, I was reflective. I shared with Anokye the news about my own Grandmother. I commented to him about the timing of seeing that email right before I was going to see Nana’s Grandma.

At first he was concerned and asked me why I hadn’t said something earlier.

“We would have prayed for her, the old lady is good with prayer. When she prays, it happens”.

He then offered advice, saying, “Don’t worry, everything is going to be good”. I told him that I wasn’t worried.

I had been visiting Nana’s Grandma, and I wondered if there was someone in Toronto who was doing the same, visiting my Grandma. I have been thinking of my Grandma a lot while in Ghana. I told Anokye that I would come back soon to visit ‘the old lady’.

He then commented that, “God will bless you for what you have done”. He words were true, except he had already blessed me.

Anokye then revealed something else to me: “when you came the first time, it was nice, but I didn’t think that you would come again”. He continued, “You could have said, ‘I visited her Grandma’, and left it at that. You didn’t though. You came again”.

Sitting there and hearing her advice was a blessing. Being able to make a difference in her day and bring her a smile was a blessing. Being an ocean away from my own Grandma who needs the love and support of her family, but being able to sit with a Grandma, was a blessing.

Thinking about both of my Grandmothers, my many adopted Grandmothers, thinking of Nana’s Grandmother, I have to say, Grandmother’s are a blessing.